Talking Points

Conversations with athletes are at the heart of coaching. How well coaches speak with and to athletes, and also listen to and hear athletes, often determines their overall coaching success and effectiveness. Much has been written about how to communicate better, and some of it is worth reviewing. For now, here are some pointers for rowing coaches who want to improve their coaching conversations.

Timing. It’s not just what is said but when it is said. Discussions immediately before practice should relate only to practice. Anything else distracts from the central purpose of practice. Save the information-sharing for later, after practice. Athletes also need time to process what coaches tell them. A new detailed race plan given on the dock before shoving is disturbing and confusing. One articulated early in the week, rehearsed, and reiterated before “hands on” is empowering. Similarly, some athletes may need a speech to fire them up, but not at 9 p.m. the night before their race. This only excites them and makes falling asleep difficult.

Problems go away on their own rarely, so do not procrastinate difficult conversations. They are part of any meaningful coach-athlete relationship. Be the adult, accept the discomfort as an opportunity for growth, and initiate the difficult conversation. If the topic is important and uncomfortable, document the conversation and include a second coach as a witness.

Location. The location of a conversation communicates as much as the words. Rowing-specific conversations can and should occur at the boathouse. Larger topics are better addressed away from the boathouse. By removing the conversation from the rowing venue, coaches show they’re concerned about athletes beyond their rowing. Sharing a snack in a public place reduces awkwardness and makes conversation easier. Similarly, deliver praise in public whenever justified. The same compliment paid in front of the team provides greater positive reinforcement. If individual criticism is required, do so in private, away from teammates. Chewing out athletes in front of their peers is a quick way to lose them.

Frequency. Short and regular check-ins take the athlete’s emotional pulse. Use open-ended questions to break the ice: “How you doing?” Begin with non-rowing topics: “How are classes going?” If you sense a problem, make time for a deeper conversation. This is a sound approach even when a coach wants to discuss a specific issue. Establish connection before initiating significant conversation. Regular, more formal scheduled meetings ensure that the coach reaches every athlete individually, creates specific opportunities for an athlete to address the coach, and facilitates conversation because both parties come prepared to talk.

Engagement. Coaches show they care for athletes by giving them their full attention—i.e., putting their phone aside, shutting down their computer, looking the athlete in the eye, and  listening actively. Demonstrating concern this way reinforces what is said verbally.

Occasionally, it’s better to minimize engaging with athletes. When athletes make excuses, complain, or criticize others, consider ignoring their pleas by being visibly distracted. Feigning indifference to their complaints signals that the topic is not worth discussing. This purposeful neglect is especially useful when athletes have concerns a coach considers trivial. It shows the concern is “no big deal” and nothing to worry about.

When requesting an individual meeting, let athletes know what you want to discuss. If they don’t know the topic, some will worry and assume the worst. That’s the opposite of good communication.