Disappointing and Irresponsible

Coach Manning writes of athletes who “make excuses, complain, or criticize others,” and tells coaches to “consider ignoring their pleas by being visibly distracted” or “feigning indifference.”

Coach Manning further says that ignoring them shows that their concerns are “no big deal,” but the examples he cites often are big deals. In the preceding paragraph, he writes that “coaches show they care for athletes by giving them their full attention.” Are we to understand that he’s advising us to show an athlete that we don’t care?

Coaches should not be ignoring athletes who are criticizing others inappropriately. That’s not a culture anyone should allow to fester on their team and should be addressed in private. Athletes who makes excuses might not be cut out for whatever the standards are, or they may need help contextualizing the challenges they’re facing. Either way, this is an opportunity to teach them to rise to the occasion or guide them toward the reality that maybe their time would be spent better elsewhere.

When athletes complain, it can mean many things. Maybe they don’t like rowing in the rain. Or they could be complaining about a legitimate safety concern, a possible injury, negative culture, misunderstanding the direction of the program. None of these possibilities is mentioned in the column.

Coach Manning is well regarded in the rowing world, rightfully, and his words carry weight. What he’s recommending may be perfectly appropriate in some circumstances, perhaps when working with elite adult athletes at Penn AC, but it’s a tool that requires training and understanding when it should be used.

While I’m confident Coach Manning knows when and when not to ignore his athletes, I shudder at the thought of a young junior coach, just getting his feet wet and without a mentor, reading this article and ignoring an athlete who’s complaining about a teammate who says he isn’t good enough.

Nate Clark
Assistant Coach and Recruiting Coordinator
Trinity Men’s Rowing

Bill Manning Replies:

Coach Clark raises some good points in his comments about my column. I appreciate his sharing them and getting me to think more about what I wrote. I could have done a better job. 

Unfortunately, in 500 words, I can’t fit all the necessary nuance or address all types of rowing (juniors, club, collegiate, masters, para, National Team). Bold, simplistic statements sometimes get made, I regret to say. Often, more explanation and examples would be beneficial.

 That said, I stand by the core idea that occasionally the best approach with an athlete is benign neglect. I see two potential benefits.

By not engaging the athlete about the matter, he/she will see that it’s unworthy of attention; the coach’s inattention signals that the athlete should give it no attention, either. This is true of many excuses, criticisms, and minor complaints. 

When children stumble and fall, typically they look instantly to their parents for guidance about how to react. If parents show concern, children take it seriously and wail away.  If parents don’t fret about it, children often pick themselves up and carry on. The key, obviously, is parental judgement. It must be established first that the child is safe and that there’s nothing to worry about. Coaches must do the same. 

 The other benefit is that athletes are left to figure out things for themselves. It’s better coaching practice to recognize these learning opportunities and give athletes the space to figure things out on their own. More often than not, it’s necessary to explain things to athletes and guide their learning explicitly, but when the situation allows, it’s best to let them learn for themselves. 

Most athletes will solve problems on their own when given the opportunity to do so rather than being spoon-fed solutions. When they race, there will be no coach giving them advice or changing the race plan; the athletes need to take control and act independently. Sometimes, providing small opportunities to do so prepares them better for the independence they’ll have when racing (and when on their own without a coach’s caring presence). 

To stop athletes from making excuses, don’t entertain the excuses. Instead, stay focused on performance. Many instances of poor behavior are driven by an athlete’s desire for attention. Refrain from giving this attention and the athlete learns that the behavior doesn’t generate the desired response, and so is not worth engaging in. 

As Coach Clark highlights, the key is exercising good judgement. Coaches need to appreciate the difference between an excuse and a legitimate handicap. They need to recognize when bad behavior is rooted in a significant personal problem and when it’s just superficial and selfish. With seasoned good judgement, benign neglect becomes another useful coaching tool.