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In today’s recruiting landscape, communication can be frequent, friendly, and at times, misleading. Athletes often feel like they are “in good” with a university—emails are answered, texts come back quickly, and conversations feel positive. But then weeks or months pass, and the reality becomes clear: A firm offer is not coming.
Understanding when to stay patient and when to redirect your focus is a critical skill in the recruiting process. Here are a few key principles every recruit and family should keep in mind:
Be honest from the very beginning.
Transparency builds trust. Coaches are evaluating far more than just your erg score or race results; they are assessing your academic record, your character, and your long-term fit within their program.
If there are inconsistencies in your transcript or gaps in your rowing history, address them early. Coaches will uncover this information eventually. When you are upfront, you demonstrate maturity and credibility—two qualities that carry significant weight in recruiting decisions.
Communication is not the same as commitment.
One of the most common misconceptions in recruiting is equating responsiveness with interest. Just because a coach is actively communicating does not mean an offer is imminent.
Most programs maintain multiple layers of recruits. There is often a priority list, and behind it, a group of athletes who serve as potential options if top targets commit elsewhere. This is not a negative reflection on you; it is simply how college recruiting works. Understanding this reality allows you to interpret communication more clearly and avoid false assumptions.
Ask the tough questions.
Coaches will not hesitate to ask where they stand on your list—whether they are in your top five, top three, or your No. 1 choice. Recruits should feel empowered equally to ask direct questions in return:
Where do you fit on their board?
How many athletes are they recruiting?
What does their timeline look like?
These conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they are essential. Clarity is power. If a program’s level of interest is not where you hoped it would be, that information is not discouraging—it is freeing. It allows you to invest your time and energy where it truly matters.
Define and communicate your priorities.
Every recruit values something different. For some, it is strong admissions support. For others, it is an athletic scholarship or confirmed academic aid.
Be clear about what matters most to you and communicate that directly to coaches. Specificity helps programs understand how to position themselves in your decision-making process and whether they can meet your expectations realistically.
Control your timeline.
One of the biggest mistakes recruits make is allowing the process to drift without a defined end point. Establish a timeline for your decision and share it with the programs you’re considering.
If a coach’s timeline differs, it is far better to identify that early rather than letting uncertainty linger. Programs move quickly, and clarity on both sides creates a more efficient and less stressful process.
The best outcomes in recruiting happen when there is mutual enthusiasm, clear communication, and alignment of expectations.
If that alignment is not there, the smartest move is often to redirect your focus toward the programs that are invested fully in you, as both an athlete and student.
Robbie Tenenbaum coached at the NCAA level for more than 30 years and spent eight years with the U.S. Junior National Team. Through Robbie Consulting, he now works with student-athletes and their families around the world, helping them navigate the university recruiting process and find the best academic and athletic fit.
