Finding Your Voice as an Assistant Coach

Young assistant coaches often question everything they say, whether it’s coming through the megaphone at practice or in a staff meeting with your fellow coaches. The early years are when a young coach develops her own style, but finding your voice while working within someone else’s program can feel like walking a tightrope—lean too far one way and you’re overstepping, too far the other and you’re not contributing enough.

I remember well the feeling of being weighed down by this constant doubt—rehearsing comments before making them, second-guessing my technical feedback, keeping questions or ideas to myself. I wanted so much to maintain the established culture and back up the approach of the head coach, particularly because I was working within some very successful teams, that I found myself often keeping quiet rather than asking questions about a decision the head coach made or even trying a slightly outside-the-box drill on the water. I was playing it safe and in doing so wasn’t contributing much.

Then, at the NCAA Women Coaches Academy, I had the opportunity to do a full DISC assessment. The results showed that my natural style was “Dominance,” marked by being direct, results-oriented, and strong-willed. Sounded pretty good for a leader. However, my adapted style—how I modified my behavior in a work setting—was “Steadiness,” marked by being humble, tactful, patient, and accommodating. Good skills to have in some situations but not necessarily the makings of a coaching force to be reckoned with.

This result put into words, succinctly and objectively, the feeling that I’d been having for years–that I wasn’t bringing my true self and full strengths to coaching. It didn’t sound like who I knew myself to be. While no one style is any better or worse than another, we are all better leaders when we lead with authenticity and in our own voice rather than deferring to another’s.

Having a different perspective from your head coach isn’t a liability; it’s an asset. You might notice things she or he missed, connect with athletes in different ways, or see alternative solutions to problems they hadn’t considered. A head coach is more effective when supported by an assistant who can expand his perspective and think creatively rather than agreeing mindlessly to whatever he says. The key is learning how to contribute these insights effectively.

Build trust. If you don’t have them already, ask for specific areas of responsibility. Take ownership and be reliable. When you execute the small things well consistently (running an effective land warmup, re-rigging a boat, managing travel logistics), you create space for your voice to be heard on bigger issues.

Ask questions rather than make statements. “What did you see in that piece?” can open more doors than “The 2V is rushing the slide.” This approach shows engagement while demonstrating respect for the head coach’s expertise.

Offer solutions. Don’t just point out problems; do the preparation so you can suggest how to address them. If you’ve observed a coxswain making the same mistake in his steering consistently, give thought to how you’d like to explain it to him and what you can do on the water to give him the opportunity to practice doing it the right way before bringing it to the head coach. This transforms you from someone just piling on problems to someone contributing to solving them.

Remember that finding your voice doesn’t mean you need to be talking all the time. Sometimes your most valuable contribution might be providing a different type of presence than your head coach. If she is intense and technical, your calm encouragement might be exactly what some athletes need.

Most important, be patient with yourself. Your coaching voice, like your coaching philosophy, will develop over time. There will be some trial and error until you find what feels right to you and is therefore effective and sustainable. You don’t need to shout an impassioned locker-room speech to get the most out of your athletes. But if you are naturally a “bite a kneecap off” type of coach like the Detroit Lions’ Dan Campbell, then quiet, steely intensity is not going to be your best approach, either.

Use this time in your career to observe, learn, and gradually develop a coaching voice that will serve you, and your athletes, for years to come. 

Madeline Davis Tully competed as a lightweight rower at Princeton and on the U-23 national team before coaching at Stanford, Ohio State, Boston University, and the U-23 national team. Now a leadership and executive coach, she is the founder of the Women’s Coaching Conference.